Honest Thankfulness

With Thanksgiving behind us and entering into this season of gratitude, I’m so thankful for my now four children. I’m thankful every day for them. They are my greatest blessings in life and they give me such joy. With the baby now being 14 months (who needs to be the last baby mind you), I’ve definitely felt myself clinging to her last little baby-ness, which is one of the reasons I haven’t stopped breastfeeding even though I’ve been saying I was going to stop early with her for months.

Being able to nourish my children has been a gift for me. I’ve exclusively breastfed, I’ve formula fed, or done a combination of both at various points in my life. I’ve also breastfed well into toddler hood. I love breastfeeding….It’s a beautiful and natural thing and it gives me great pride to have nourished my babies. Women should be able to breastfeed anywhere and they shouldn’t need to hide, or be made to feel ashamed for feeding their babies. They also shouldn’t be made to feel bad if they’ve formula fed. A mother has to do what’s best for her and her baby. If the baby is being fed, that’s what matters.

Learn more about your feeding options from The Honest Company.

Why your exposed breast selfies aren’t helping to normalize breastfeeding

{Breastfeeding Ava in a Target parking lot last month}

Hello! Wow it's been about two weeks since I've blogged but we had family visiting in November and it's been so busy. My in-laws just left on Monday, I'm finally starting to make a dent in the laundry and things are slowly getting back to normal...kinda. I've got a lot to write about concerning the last two weeks, but dealing with a newborn I'm still in babyville, which actually leads me to what I'm about to rant about. Brace yourselves, I’m about to step on a soapbox here. Alright. Let’s get the credentials out of the way first because I like to think I’ve got a little bit of experience in this department. I have 4 children. Aged 2 months, 3 years, 4 years and 13 years old. I’ve exclusively breastfed, I’ve formula fed, or done a combination of both at various points in my life. I’ve also breastfed well into toddler hood. I’m breastfeeding now. I’ve done these feedings anywhere from a bathroom (When I was a first timer and didn’t know any better) to restaurants, malls, cars, parks, schools, under an umbrella in the rain, to busy touristy places while walking at that.

I love breastfeeding……It’s a beautiful and natural thing and it gives me great pride to have nourished my babies. Women should be able to breastfeed in any public or private place without being shunned. They shouldn’t need to hide or be made to feel ashamed for feeding their babies. If you don’t like to use a cover, or if the baby doesn’t like it (because let’s face it, some of them don’t), then no problem. A baby has to eat and I’m not looking at anybody twice because of it. When I see another mother breastfeeding whether in person or on the Internet, I want to high-five them and say “right on!” It makes me feel less alone out there breastfeeding in public. However…..When I see a staged or purposely taken picture of a mom with her breast completely exposed on social media with a caption of something along the lines of “normalize breastfeeding”, I think several of us die-hard breast feeders collectively groan. You aren’t helping the cause by posting pictures of your fully exposed breasts on the Internet. A breast is a breast whether a baby is attached to it or not. You can sit there and try to make breasts seen as just a primary way to feed a baby, and not be looked at as something private or sexual and until you’re blue in the face, but it’s never gonna happen.

Repeat after me: “It’s never gonna happen.”

First of all, boobs all out there while feeding a baby isn’t the norm. Personally I’ve only seen it once in my life in a Janie & Jack store in Florida while I was shopping for my girls. All the other times, it’s just a shirt pulled up and a baby is nursing or under a cover, or something loosely draped over the baby. These viral breastfeeding selfies aren’t furthering the cause and I feel go against the original intent of the movement. Ashley Kaidel, 24 year old blogger mom whose breastfeeding picture went viral is a prime example of what I’m talking about. 

{Huffington Post}

I get her picture wasn’t a selfie and rather taken by her companion, but the message is the same. To me I see it as more about gaining attention instead of acceptance. Also, it reminded me of the time I was a newbie public breastfeeder and I used to scan the room looking around to see who would dare look at me while I was breastfeeding my child. Guess what? If you look hard enough, you’re probably going to find someone who isn’t all gung-ho about your exposed breast. Breastfeeding in public should be tolerated by all whether you use a cover or not, but here’s the thing. This is the 21^st century where everyone is offended by everything. I’m not saying cover-up if you’re breastfeeding, everyone’s level of modesty is different, but I am saying don’t be all up in arms if someone isn’t comfortable with your level of exposure out in public when it comes to boobs. 

 { Left: Nursing Mariam at home in 2014. Right: Walking along a busy Ft. Lauderdale street while nursing Ava this past weekend.}

Have a great Thursday and happy breastfeeding!

Breastfeeding number 3

 

Back in 2012 I wrote a post urging all mother's who breastfeed to read about my experience so what happened to me, won't happen to them. You can find that post here and then another one here talking about breastfeeding with muscle knots. I plan on writing another post soon on how I've been doing since then.

 

With that being said, I am still going strong with nursing Mariam, well I wouldn't call it strong since she gave up on the left breast when she was about 10 months old, but still doing fine with just the right. She got tired of the slow letdown on the left and decided to just nix it all together. I guess she gets some of her impatience from me. Mariam is 18 months old now and I'm glad we have made it this far. She nurses 3 times a day, sometimes 4 if she insists. Upon waking up the first thing she says is "alk...alk!" which means milk. She nurses for about 5-8 minutes and is done. Since she was a newborn she's always nursed for a short amount of time. Not that short, but still short. Just a few days ago she has started to say "all done" when she's finished. It is a little strange and makes me feel like she's a bit old for breastfeeding if she's saying "all done", but it's still good for her that she's getting these nutrients and it's a great bonding experience for us. She has definitely been my most attached baby. I never thought I would be nursing an almost 2 year old, but never say never because here we are. At this point I'm not sure how long we will continue but for now I'm in the I'll let her wean herself camp. I don't see us going past 2 and a half though, but it could be sooner than that.

 

Even though it was nursing my second Layla that caused the muscle knot issues it's not the breastfeeding itself now irritating the knots. I always support my arms or am laying down. The issue really now is lifting these heavy girls, especially lifting them into something higher like the highchair or my SUV. Like I mentioned though. I will go more into detail when I write my follow up post on that issue.

 

Have a great Tuesday!

 



Breastfeeding with muscle knots

Early last year, I shared my story about how I hurt myself breastfeeding Layla due to bad positioning. To understand my update, you probably want to read the original post here. 

In one of my pregnancy updates with Mariam, I mentioned that I was pretty nervous about dealing with pregnancy along with the muscle knot pain in my right shoulder. I figured I was going to be miserable my whole pregnancy, but lo and behold it was my best pregnancy yet and the pain pretty much went away. I was very surprised. I believe two things were at play that made the pain start going away. One, I had stopped breastfeeding Laya like two weeks before I found out I was pregnant with Mariam--that means I had stopped putting my arms in front of me in the cradle position, and two, the hormone relaxin that I was producing during pregnancy may have started to help. I'm so thankful the pain went away during pregnancy. I also thought I may not breastfeed Mariam as to not aggravate the situation. However, I decided to breastfeed her after all...and guess what? The pain came back. I'm not trying to be a martyr, but breastfeeding is the best thing for Mariam, and if it can save her from some sickness, and extra doctor's appointments than it's worth it. I have been trying to be careful about positioning and tylenol actually helps on the really bad days whereas it didn't before. I've learned how to manage my pain better after having gone through it so long pre-pregnancy. I know the muscle knot pain in my shoulder can go dormant, but it's not going to happen while breastfeeding and there will be things that trigger it even when I'm done. Long term, I hope to finally have the muscle knot release but that can only be done with a series of trigger point massages, and then trying not to let them knot up again. 

So that's where we are at. It doesn't hurt every day like it used to so that's a plus and even when it does come about--it's not always the whole day. Breastfeeding is such a short period in one's life so I know I can do it at least till she is almost a year. I love the bond and knowing that it is me and only me that is nourishing Mariam. Breastfeeding is a beautiful thing and I have no issues doing it in public. It baffles me when people get up in arms about a woman breastfeeding. I've had a few friends tell me that I do it so discreetly they didn't even realize I was breastfeeding. I also want to note that there is nothing wrong with formula feeding either. I had to start supplementing with formula when Layla was four months old because I went back to work and my supply went down. You have to do what's right for you and your baby.