Missing my pregnant body

Don't get the wrong idea though. I have no desire what so ever to be pregnant again right now. No way! No how! I just miss the body I had while being pregnant (minus the last month when my belly gets as big as a house!) I always feel most beautiful when I'm carrying a baby.

As I sat down last night to write this. Part of me almost hesitated posting it. See the thing is, I almost feel like I shouldn't even complain and I should just be thanking my lucky stars that I have never had to watch what I eat--as far as for weight is concerned. Health wise that's a different matter. However, as a woman I too am plagued with scrutinizing myself under a microscope and finding every little flaw. I have mentioned before that I don't like the weight I am now. I've always had a fast metabolism and been thin, but right now I am underweight. Coming in at a scrawny 94 lbs. I'm really hating pants and shorts right now because they feel saggy in the butt and I have to keep hiking them up and I do wear a belt but it's annoying. One thing I'm not minding is the boobs though--thanks to breastfeeding. I'm also sort of glad it appears that my hips got a little bigger after birthing this third baby. So I guess yay for not looking entirely like a pubescent 12 year old.  I've had a lot of people look at me while I'm holding Mariam and tell me how good I look for having three babies and being 4 months postpartum, and I thank them graciously, but to me, I don't feel good about the way I look. Every woman wants and deserves to feel comfortable in their skin--myself included.

So one of the main reasons I'm putting this out here is because I'm setting a goal for myself, and if I put it out there that just means I'll be more pressured to reach my goal. By mid May I want to gain 5-6 lbs and get back to being toned. I know it may sound easy, but it's really not for me. That's just how fast my metabolism is, and the fact that I'm constantly moving around and exclusively breastfeeding, which burns a lot of calories. Before you say go eat a Big Mac everyday for lunch or stuff myself with cupcakes and cookies, I want to gain weight by eating healthy fats and constantly eating. Yes I still intend to eat sweets because Lord knows I love sweets, but I need to keep those refined sugars to a minimum. I have been getting a leg up by drinking calorie shakes, so I'm going to continue those in addition to eating a lot and exercising at least 5 days a week. I'll be keeping cardio to a minimum because I don't want to burn a lot of calories, so I'll be working more on strengthening and toning. I hope if you made it this far, you aren't rolling your eyes at me, but this is something personal to me and a goal I would like to accomplish. I want to feel good in my body again and feel healthy and energetic for my girls. 

Body after baby...

 

Let's face it, most of us aren't going to have a personal trainer on hand ready to call upon after we have a baby. Chances are we aren't even going to be motivated to work out due to being sleep deprived. You don't want to work out too fast anyways until it's cleared by your doctor. Jumping too quick into an exercise regimen after a baby can cause long term effects--and not in a good way.

 

When I had my first I was barely 20 and I had youth on my side. Not that I'm not still youthful now, but this is 10 years later people. I had lost all my weight within the first week. I had only gained 12 lbs as it was. I liked my body after giving birth. Being slight my whole life, I felt it added some curves I didn't notice before. Muscle tone was always easy to put on since I played sports most of my life, but this was different. I felt more womanly. 2 years after I had Serena I started playing soccer again and I was even happier with my body--and proud that I was doing this after having a baby.

 

 

I quit soccer because we were having difficulty conceiving Layla, but still tried to stay active here and there. With Layla I gained 35 lbs and wasn't crazy about my postpartum body. My belly was huge pregnant with her (like I am now) and it took about 3 months to lose all the weight. By 4 months postpartum I started rapidly dropping the weight. I got too skinny and my clothes were hanging off me. I was back at work at this time so I'm sure being sleep deprived, busy and stressed wasn't helping. I gained some weight but it was hard until this recent pregnancy. (9 months postpartum I was already pregnant again)

 

The challenge I see myself having this time is my belly. Around 8 months postpartum I was barely targeting my stomach and then got pregnant so I never got to see it toned and flat again between these two babies. I know that I would bend over and it would still wrinkle around the belly button, and if I got too full, you could see roundness. Sort of like my intestines hadn't fully moved back into position. That's why shortly after this baby, I plan on getting a belly wrap. My mom told me to wrap my belly after I had Layla but I didn't listen. I thought I'd have no issue like with my first.

 

 

 

So the plan after this baby is to start with something not too strenuous like yoga and pilates coupled with walking and then move onto toning followed by ab work once my abdominal muscles have gone back into position.