Surviving Hurricane Mariam (When you're still in the storm)

A little over a year ago, I wrote a post about Mariam's temperment and crying. I'm back now to give you a little update on things. If you never read the original post, click here for a little insight on her type of personality. 

Mariam has always been a crier. She was colicky from the beginning of her days on this earth and sometimes I think she never grew out of it. Around 11 months when I wrote that post she started getting better in regards to not crying as much, but that only lasted for a couple months. It started again and since then, she has her good months and her bad months. 

Shortly after I wrote that blog post, the website whattoexpect.com contacted me and asked if they could share my story. In their article they mentioned Mariam being a "high needs child". That was and is the perfect way to describe her. She is still sweet and loveable but she is very much high needs. She still cries about almost everything and is quite feisty. Right now I'm at the point where I'm finding it very difficult to take her anywhere, which stinks for me because I don't always want to be stuck at home. To make matters worse, Mariam stopped sleeping through the night earlier this past summer. She wakes up every night trying to crawl into our bed--along with Layla. We only have a queen sized bed, so yes between my husband and the girls we are squished like sardines, when I'm too tired to put them back in their bed. Not enough sleep and other stress probably means you don't feel like running through the hills a la Julie Andrews style from "the sound of music." It makes me downright moody sometimes and sleepy. Oh so sleepy.

Sleepy may not be the only thing 2 years of Mariam has brought me. I can add cranky mom to that resume. I ventured out this morning to try and buy Serena's birthday gifts and once again Mariam kept trying to get out of the cart and Layla was giving me a hard time too. At one point one of the employees at the store says very snippy and judgey "She's gonna fall out!" I hoisted Mariam on my hip with one hand, and with the other maneuvered my things on the counter. I look at her and said "You know what!" I took a pause wondering what to say next because I hadn't thought it through and then said. "I'm doing my best."

I turned away so I could compose myself and give my eyes a minute to clear since I could feel the tears welling up. The lady didn't say anything and I ended up just saying I changed my mind about these things and left the store. As I buckled Mariam in her car seat wriggling and all, I did cry there in the parking lot. I wasn't angry at the lady, I was angry at Mariam and I was angry at myself for being angry at Mariam. Being a mother of two toddlers isn't easy, being a mother isn't easy period. I feel like I don't have the best advice to give at this point like I did 11 months ago, because I'm still trying to figure things out, but I will say this: Hang in there and be kind to other mom's out there. You never know what kind of struggle they might be having.