Friday, October 11, 2013

Surviving Hurricane Mariam

I clearly remember Mariam's first cry--it being not so long ago. It was a sound I had been waiting to hear for 9 months. When I heard it, to me it was perfect. It was the sound indicating that my third baby had made it safely into the world. With Serena, I don't remember hearing a cry and if I did, it wasn't till a minute later and must have been very quiet. With Layla, there was no immediate cry. It wasn't till about 3 minutes later which were the longest minutes in my life, and in which I thought perhaps she wasn't going to make it because she was grey at birth and unresponsive. 

Fast forward to the present day. 

Mariam has not let me forgotten just exactly how her cry sounds, and lord help me if it hasn't tried my patience a few times over these past 11 months. Mariam was and is a crier. Of course it's also her being a baby and not being able to communicate, but it's also her nature and something tells me she's going to be the most sensitive out of the three. She loves to cuddle and is very sweet. From 0-3 months were the worst with her. She was colicky so unless she was feeding or sleeping she was crying. I miss when she was a squishy little newborn, but I do not miss all the stress that those first 3 months brought. There were a lot of tears from me too. It got better around 4 months and started back up again around 5 months. These days she is much better but still cries over a lot of things.

You're taking too long with my food...

I don't want to be put down...

I'm not in the mood to have my picture taken...

It was a learning process to deal with a sensitive baby while dealing with a toddler and a 10 yr old. I can tell you that getting frustrated didn't help anybody. It didn't help me, it didn't help Mariam. It only led to guilt--that's it. A lot of the experts say walk away from the situation if you are getting too frustrated and that's great advice and something I completely agree with. However, it didn't help me too much because for one, I may have gotten about a minute of quiet, but once I'm back, the crying was still going on and I was quickly back to square one. What helped me was counteracting the frustration with gentleness and extra love. Instead of letting the frustration take over me and wanting to scream, I would just hold her more gently than ever. I would cradle her and carry her and plant extra kisses on her. That's what helped me deal with the situation and it was a win-win for everybody. If you're in my shoes, try it and remember that they aren't going to be little forever. It goes by so quickly.

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