Monday, February 3, 2014

Motherhood the epitome of guilt

Serena is at school right now and the little ones are napping so I'm doing some work on the computer and popping in here to speak my mind to you fine people...or shall I say unload my guilty feelings. For the past week I've been staying up to around midnight and last night I stayed up till 2:15 in the morning. Surprisingly my face didn't feel like it was hit by a truck this morning but maybe my body got used to running on little sleep this week. If you read a post from last week I mentioned that I no longer had a seamstress because our schedules were just not working out. Que large wholesale order due tomorrow on top of other orders coming in. I was lucky to have my mom come for 3 evenings so thank God I had some help. I could not have done it all alone! When one thinks baby bibs, they might think "Oh sure those are easy to make", but if you've seen mine, you can see the kind of details that goes into them, and those details take time. I've had a few copiers out there and by the pictures they just don't hold a candle to mine. I'm very particular about them and always strive for quality. 

Onto the guilty feeling I was talking about. Balance is hard. I have 3 girls. Running this house, meal planning, cleaning, etc. That's a full time job! I never cut into their time during the day minus a few emails, a few photoshoots and some social media during food breaks and naps, but this weekend I feel like I hardly dealt with the kids at all. My husband spent most of the day with them to let me work, and I guess I just feel bad that I didn't get to interact with them much and I also broke my rule during the week earlier of not cutting into their time. Two afternoons I spent about an hour working on stuff while the girls all played in the living room. I know a lot of work at home moms work a little with their kids around, but I just never liked doing that. I'm not one to let the TV babysit my kids, and I really limit their time as it is. My mom said I shouldn't feel guilty, but I can't help it. Sometimes I wish I never started this and my only thoughts be my family but my iron will won't let me stop, and of course it wouldn't be smart to stop because it's going so well--and I've come so far. I just need to find some quality help...and maybe take a small break for the next two evenings.

Have a great Monday!


  1. You aren't alone! I'm not sure when I'm going to return to M&G because of this exact reason. Of course right now I don't even have any opportunity since when one is sleeping the other is up, but teepees aren't a small job and I really don't want it cutting into my first job, mom. Hang in there, its just a busy week (good thing!) hopefully things return to normal, and know you aren't alone in the guilt trip!

  2. Thanks Erinn and you're right, it won't be as stressful once things calm down to a normal pace. I'm sure there will be something to feel guilty about again regarding the kids though lol. Hope your two start letting you get some decent sleep soon. Once the baby starts going to sleep at a decent hour and sleeping through the night that should give you some time to start working at night again..if that's what you want to do. ;)