After getting over the shock that I was expecting Mariam back in 2012, since Layla was only 9 months old, one of the things that comforted me was the fact that I was going to have two little girls close in age that could potentially be each other's best friend and that they would have a playmate growing up. It's been the sweetest thing to see them play and interact with each other once Mariam got bigger. Even now Mariam will say "C'mon Layla, let's go play" in that little nasaly toddler voice and my heart just melts.
However, what I wasn't prepared for this early in the game was all the fighting! Good Lord has it been tough this past week with all the screeching and shoving. Oh yes, there is shoving. Since last year, I learned just to buy two of everything when I can so they don't fight, but that doesn't always help. These two little rascals will find a way to fight about something. Whether it's who is snuggling my left arm on the couch, or who wants to read a certain book. I've yelled a lot more than I'm comfortable with this past week, but it's very very aggravating when it's practically all day. I think part of the issue is we've been cooped up a lot together since moving to Florida. I wasn't planning on being pregnant and thought we'd be doing tons of things outdoors since the condo doesn't have a backyard, but it's been so hot and it's also difficult to take both girls out by myself with this growing belly. We try to go to the park a few times a week though. I could use some tips on how to handle toddlers who bicker and fight over toys and I'll be doing some googling later. This is a whole new ball game for me since the age gap between Serena and Layla is 8 years and Serena was an only child for a long time. I never had to deal with this before.
Other than that, my girls are still also very loving and sweet. I thank God every day for them and I'm excited about adding another little sibling to our bunch.
Have a great Monday!
Its not fool proof, but this is what I do with my two boys who are only 23 months apart they are 2 and 4 years old. 1. I try to make them resolve their issues between themselves. Example: One kid hit the other. I got to the victim, apologize that they're hurt and then tell them to say "Brother, please don't hit me I don't like it." I make the aggressor apologize. I say "That hurt your brother, you need to tell him you're sorry" and then I remind them to try and use their words to resolve issues without getting me involved. This helps keep me out of maybe 1 of every 5 battles. I'm hoping for better odds soon. 2. I don't do two of an item because as you said it really doesn't work. If someone has something that he other wants, I tell that child to ask nicely for a turn. I give them the words, I say "Say, 'brother, may I please have a turn?" My younger one will usually hand over something if you ask him nicely, but my older one will usually say he isn't done. So then I will say "Ok then mommy will put on a timer and when the timer goes off, then it will be your brother's turn." Again this isn't always fool proof but with practice, it has gotten easier for them to accept it as a matter of course for our family. 3. When things are REALLY IMPOSSIBLE I do just have to get them out. I live in a second floor apartment and when I was pregnant with my third I remember it being very difficult, but worth the effort for a little peace because the stress would make me mean mommy and I hate myself when I am mean. I got pregnant with my third when my second was only 4 months old, so believe me I feel your pain, but these things really are helping me. The time investment up front is hefty, but I have hope that in the long run my energy will be well spent and the return will be great! Good luck and congrats!
ReplyDeleteThank you for the detailed response Maria! I will definitely try the timer and I get you on the stress making one turn into "mean mommy". I have those days and will find myself going to sleep feeling guilty at times. Parenting. Such a wonderful experience, but tough. That's for sure.
DeleteSo true!
DeleteI should add that when I implemented the timer it wasn't immediately well received, but I was persistent. Now they know how it works and they are much more inclined to share and be patient as they wait for a turn. If its a ball or something they can play with together I try and encourage them to do that too. But something like a toy car is hard to use together and that's when the timer comes in.
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