Baby #4

There's a saying that goes, "life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans." That's very true. We had plans for our new life here in Florida, but what we didn't realize was that there was another passenger with us when we left Texas on New Year's Eve. I found out on our 6th day here in Boca last month that our family is growing. Crazy! I've been quiet these past few weeks because I've been really sick. Every symptom in the book, and severe all day nausea. I could hardly function! 

We got to see our little baby almost 2 weeks ago on an ultrasound where it was confirmed that I was 8 weeks pregnant. I honestly was scared about twins because I couldn't understand all this nausea and fatigue compared to my other pregnancies, but it's just one healthy little baby. I always get a little nervous before that first confirmation ultrasound but my fears were put aside after seeing the fast beating of the heart. It's always such an amazing feeling and we got plenty of pictures. I actually found out really early about this pregnancy. I knew since I was 3 weeks and 2 days and that's only because my body had been feeling off and I know my body. Something was up! I was so happy when I finally got to meet my new OB because she prescribed me medication for the severe nausea. I'm taking Diclegis and the first day I took the full dosage, I was a zombie so I started taking half the dosage and it started to help. What a relief! However, I'm back on the full dosage because half was no longer cutting it and thankfully my body regulated and I don't feel like a zombie though I am still very tired daily. Some days the medicine doesn't even cut it though. I was nauseous all day yesterday and it wasn't fun. 

Hopefully when I get to the first trimester I will start feeling better. I'm praying because it's pretty hard when you already have toddlers to look after, a family and a business to run. Not too mention still getting adjusted in a new state. I'm currently 9 weeks and 5 days and yes already bumping along. My belly does not mess around as soon as it knows it's pregnant, though I feel like I'm definitely in that stage where I'm not sure if people think I'm pregnant or that my belly is just like this because I've had 3 kids. Haha! I'll do my first bump picture on Thursday when I'm 10 weeks and then do them every 2 weeks. I can't believe I'm having another baby!

Ps. I think it's another girl. The heart rate was 160 and the yolk sac was on the left, but we'll see. Not counting ourselves out yet. As always I'd like a boy for H, but I'd be perfectly happy with another sweet baby girl. It's now or never though. I'm not having another baby after this one. This first trimester has been so bad honestly I never want to experience this again. On top of that, we feel our family will be complete for many reasons.

Have a great Tuesday!

The evolution of the diaper bag

Then: Classy leather $248 Ralph Lauren tote.

Now: Flimsy canvas $5 Old Navy tote with the San Francisco bridge in a heart. (I've never even been to San Francisco.)

If you have more than 2 kids and they are 3 and under you probably know how just trying to get out of the house is a job! I used to pack all my things neatly in my RL tote before the straps got ruined from lugging all their things around, and these days I'm throwing random things that I think the kids might need in this Old Navy tote and hurrying them out of the house. 

Sometimes I don't even bring my purse too and just throw my wallet in there as long as the rest of the house is going in there. Vanity be damned. My shoulder hurts dagnabbit! I'm just bringing one bag. In all seriousness though, I will be looking for another bag soon. I need something with compartments so I'm not taking 10 minutes just to locate my keys. 

That old feeling..

Has up and left the building. What old feeling you ask? I haven't talked about it much because there isn't much to talk about since it's completely crazy, but not really irrational. Happens to most women, but shortly after having Mariam (third baby mind you), I was already missing my baby bump. In fact I hesitated when people would ask me if my husband and I would try again for another--perhaps a boy since we have all girls. I would say no "we're done", but it wasn't the truth. However the truth was partly for the wrong reasons. 

I loved being pregnant. Sure I had morning sickness, fatigue, aches and pains, worries, a bout of infertility, a miscarriage, but I loved being pregnant! There's nothing like hearing your babies first heartbeat, feeling them move inside of you and then bringing them into the world. Nothing. Of course childbirth isn't always easy on the body and there can be lasting effects, and babies are only babies for a short period of time. 

I also felt most beautiful pregnant. I felt healthy, I felt full of life. No trying to constantly gain weight since it came naturally, no feeling scrawny as I sometimes do. I felt the most womanly I could possibly feel. I felt empowered and more head over heels in love with my husband knowing I'm bringing a child of ours into the world. 

A couple weeks ago at 14 months postpartum while driving home from the grocery store, I realized I no longer miss my baby bump, I no longer miss being pregnant. This is a good thing. I am happy for this. I am happy with my three and my life. I feel life would be madness for me adding another baby in the next couple of years. However I have not ruled out completely another child--ever. I cannot say what my feelings will be when Layla & Mariam are 5 and 4 and no longer babies, but for now I'm taking it year by year.