What it feels like to be a mother

To be a mother is like nothing else in the world.

To be a mother is feeling guilty a lot.

It's feeling like you could do this all over again, it's feeling like you can't do this all over again.

It's feeling like you're tough as nails, yet weak as a dandelion in the wind.

It's keeping calm and losing your patience.

It's thinking twice. Once for yourself and once for your children.

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If you asked me if I ever saw myself as being a mother of soon to be three, I would have said no. As a young girl and teenager I was never a "baby person". I wasn't into holding them or cooing at them. I just didn't have that maternal instinct then. That came after I had my own. Now I'm a stronger and better person because of my girls and I love them more than anything. As I embark on splitting my heart for a third time--I do worry about my patience level and how I will manage. I worry about all the bad things in the world and how I can best protect them, but I continue to pray and ask God for strength, patience and wisdom--and hope he will carry me through.