Don't get the wrong idea though. I have no desire what so ever to be pregnant again right now. No way! No how! I just miss the body I had while being pregnant (minus the last month when my belly gets as big as a house!) I always feel most beautiful when I'm carrying a baby.
As I sat down last night to write this. Part of me almost hesitated posting it. See the thing is, I almost feel like I shouldn't even complain and I should just be thanking my lucky stars that I have never had to watch what I eat--as far as for weight is concerned. Health wise that's a different matter. However, as a woman I too am plagued with scrutinizing myself under a microscope and finding every little flaw. I have mentioned before that I don't like the weight I am now. I've always had a fast metabolism and been thin, but right now I am underweight. Coming in at a scrawny 94 lbs. I'm really hating pants and shorts right now because they feel saggy in the butt and I have to keep hiking them up and I do wear a belt but it's annoying. One thing I'm not minding is the boobs though--thanks to breastfeeding. I'm also sort of glad it appears that my hips got a little bigger after birthing this third baby. So I guess yay for not looking entirely like a pubescent 12 year old. I've had a lot of people look at me while I'm holding Mariam and tell me how good I look for having three babies and being 4 months postpartum, and I thank them graciously, but to me, I don't feel good about the way I look. Every woman wants and deserves to feel comfortable in their skin--myself included.
So one of the main reasons I'm putting this out here is because I'm setting a goal for myself, and if I put it out there that just means I'll be more pressured to reach my goal. By mid May I want to gain 5-6 lbs and get back to being toned. I know it may sound easy, but it's really not for me. That's just how fast my metabolism is, and the fact that I'm constantly moving around and exclusively breastfeeding, which burns a lot of calories. Before you say go eat a Big Mac everyday for lunch or stuff myself with cupcakes and cookies, I want to gain weight by eating healthy fats and constantly eating. Yes I still intend to eat sweets because Lord knows I love sweets, but I need to keep those refined sugars to a minimum. I have been getting a leg up by drinking calorie shakes, so I'm going to continue those in addition to eating a lot and exercising at least 5 days a week. I'll be keeping cardio to a minimum because I don't want to burn a lot of calories, so I'll be working more on strengthening and toning. I hope if you made it this far, you aren't rolling your eyes at me, but this is something personal to me and a goal I would like to accomplish. I want to feel good in my body again and feel healthy and energetic for my girls.